Stepping into a leadership role is like embarking on a thrilling adventure, but even the most fearless leaders find themselves facing certain conversations that make their palms sweat and their hearts race. If you're a new leader, rest assured that you are not alone. Many emerging leaders share the same apprehensions when it comes to addressing their teams.
In this newsletter, we'll delve into the five most common types of conversations that new leaders I work with dread most and uncover the strategies more experienced leaders employ to thrive in these situations.
1) Delivering Constructive Feedback
New leaders often hesitate to provide constructive feedback, fearing they may demotivate or alienate team members. If the feedback is always presented from a place of “something needs fixing”, then yes – team members will learn to dread feedback.
Recognizing that feedback is a powerful tool for growth for ALL team members, experienced leaders frame critiques as opportunities for development. They focus on specific behaviors, provide actionable suggestions, and ensure a balance between positive and constructive feedback. And the more specific, the better. As a leader, one of your goals is to facilitate the growth of each of your employees. Do what’s best for your team and ensure feedback is equitable in its frequency among all team members.
2) Addressing Performance Issues
Confronting team members about performance issues can be uncomfortable for new leaders who worry about damaging relationships – this rings especially true if the leader was once a peer/co-worker. Unfortunately, there is no good possible outcome by avoiding performance-issue conversations. The rest of the team risks become resentful and disengaged, particularly if avoidance strategies become the go-to strategy of the leader. Habits such as delegating the work to reliable higher performers on the team, taking on the work themselves, or ignoring the issue all-together can seem like a good idea when in the trenches - though should be used sparingly. So how can new leaders hold accountability and performance conversations less “icky”?
Rather than framing it as a confrontation, seasoned leaders approach performance discussions as collaborative conversations. They actively listen, seek to understand underlying issues – what's getting in the way, and work together with the team members to create a plan to move forward. They also make regular check-ins a regular and frequent occurrence to ensure they catch delays in a relatively timely manner so that pivots are less drastic and frantic.
3) Managing Conflicts Within the Team
I often hear this: “I’m not paid enough for this s*&%”. And by “s*&%, my clients are referring to playing mediator between team members. Often times, HR is called it do just deal with it, but then next time a conflict arises, the leader is no better off than they were at the earlier conflict. Calling HR for minor issues is not only more time consuming, but it’s merely a band aid solution. While I totally understand that conflict can feel like a minefield for new leaders, avoiding it only allows issues to fester.
So how is a new leader supposed to handle minor conflicts within the team before they become bigger issues that actually do require HR intervention? First, accepting conflict as a difference of opinions can diffuse the tension. Experienced leaders view conflicts as natural in any team dynamic. They facilitate open communication, encourage different perspectives, and guide the team towards resolutions that strengthen relationships and improve collaboration – all while achieving a common goal. In essence, these conversations clear the air and create space for better problem solving and collaboration. With time and practice, team members will learn to hold these conversations proactively, before the potential for conflict arises. If the leader can’t model these types of collaborative conversations, how can they expect their team members to? It’s necessary for new leaders to practice this skill.
4) Conducting Difficult Conversations
Whether it's delivering bad news or addressing sensitive topics, new leaders often fear the discomfort associated with difficult conversations. The fear mostly comes from the leader trying to predict how the team member will feel once the news is delivered – and then ruminate over how they might react to the news that needs to be delivered, and then trying to predict their own reaction to the team member’s reaction. That’s a lot of inner turmoil to contend with, and the conversation hasn’t even taken place yet! No wonder they dread these conversations.
Let’s be honest though. No one on Earth enjoys delivering bad news. What effective leaders do differently, though, is recognize the importance of transparency and honesty. They prepare thoroughly, remain empathetic, and focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the discomfort. They do what they can to mentally prepare to maintain composure because they understand others can feed off their own energy. If the leader remains calm, the other party is more likely to do the same. And then identifying what each party needs from the other to move forward more effectively can shift the focus from blame and negative emotions to productive problem-solving.
5) Implementing Change
Introducing change can be met with resistance, and new leaders may fear pushback from their teams. When introducing a change that will impact the team, it’s all in the delivery. From the “why”, to the language and tone - it all matters, because team members rely on these queues to initially determine how to interpret the mesage.
Successful leaders are particularly adept at creating a compelling narrative around change. They communicate the "why" behind the change, involve the team in the process, and emphasize the positive outcomes – and encourage all team members to focus on how they stand to benefit from the change, fostering a sense of shared purpose. Effective leaders understand that part of their job is to keep everyone’s eye on the prize to maintain high levels of motivation despite the many changes that will occur through each project or initiative.
Every leader, no matter how seasoned, has faced these challenging conversations at some point in their journey. The key lies in understanding that these moments are not roadblocks but stepping stones to leadership mastery. By learning from the experiences of those who have navigated these conversations successfully, new leaders can embrace their role with confidence, turning challenges into opportunities for growth and fostering a thriving, resilient team.
If you are looking for a more customized leadership development experience, leadership coaching may be the better option to get you to your professional development goals faster. Book a complimentary “Discovery Call” to discuss your goals and see if working with a leadership coach might be the way to go.