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Emergent Leaders Newsletter/057/How to Manage Difficult Employees in Your First Leadership Role
As you step into your first leadership role, you may meet challenges that test your confidence and willpower. One common struggle my coaching clients face is dealing with a difficult direct report.
Recognizing the Signs of a Perceived Difficult Employee
Here are some key indicators that you might be dealing with a problematic direct report:
Consistently ignores established protocols and procedures.
Takes liberties that are outside their scope of responsibilities.
Engages in spreading rumors and hoarding information or only share partial information to maintain control.
Overestimates their value to the organization and uses this to justify negative behavior.
Undermines authority through unofficial channels and retaliates against perceived slights.
Uses anger or tears to manipulate situations and avoid accountability.
Understandably, confronting such behavior can be daunting – which is why most of these cases go un-checked.
My goal is to provide you with the tools and strategies to help you approach employees effectively, transforming difficult situations into opportunities for growth and strengthening your leadership skills.
Reframing The Idea of Difficult Employees
Now I mentioned “perceived difficult” intentionally because I do want to emphasize that many employees labeled as difficult have significant potential for growth and success if guided and managed correctly. Often, their passion, drive, and creativity are mischanneled due to lack of direction or support. By identifying their strengths and providing constructive feedback, you can help transform challenging behaviors into positive contributions.
I would also like to point out that so-called “difficult” employees can offer valuable lessons for leadership development. Managing such employees can teach you how to navigate various interpersonal dynamics, enhance your communication skills, and help you develop patience and resilience. It’s an opportunity to refine your leadership style, making you a more effective leader.
With this in mind, here are some factors to consider before labelling a team member as challenging:
Lack of Clarity and Communication
Sometimes, employees may act out because they haven't been given clear instructions or expectations. When processes and protocols aren't explicitly communicated, employees might unintentionally violate them, leading to frustration and conflict. Ensuring that all team members understand their roles and responsibilities can mitigate many issues.
Insufficient Training and Resources
Employees may struggle or behave poorly if they haven't received adequate training or don't have the necessary resources to perform their tasks effectively. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, stress, and subsequent negative behaviors. Investing in proper training and providing the right tools can empower employees to meet expectations.
Misalignment with Organizational Culture
An employee might find themselves at odds with the company culture, which can manifest as difficult behavior. This misalignment can occur if an employee's values or working style significantly differ from the organization's. In such cases, it may be beneficial to provide cultural onboarding or mentorship to help the employee integrate better by finding some common ground.
Personal Issues
Personal problems outside of work can sometimes influence an employee's behavior at the workplace. Stress, health issues, or family problems can cause an otherwise good employee to act out. Being empathetic and offering support, such as flexible working arrangements or employee assistance programs, can help address these issues.
Constructive Disruption
In some cases, what is perceived as difficult or rebellious behavior might be a form of constructive disruption. Employees who challenge the status quo, ask tough questions, or push back against inefficient processes can drive innovation and improvement within the organization. It’s important to discern whether the behavior is truly problematic or if it’s pushing the team toward positive change.
Each employee is unique, and their behavior can be influenced by a myriad of factors. By simply getting to better know your team members and individual circumstances behind their behaviors, you can reveal underlying issues that, once addressed, can lead to significant improvement and a more harmonious working relationship.
Dealing with Difficult Team Members
When there is clarity around expectations, the odds of having to escalate a problematic team member’s case is significantly reduced. Unfortunately, it won’t be eliminated. If the unwanted behaviors persist despite swift and clear intervention, then it is important to manage the situation before it starts to impact others and business results.
Here’s what to do to manage a confirmed difficult employee effectively:
Document Everything
Keep detailed records of the employee's behavior, including dates, specific incidents, and any witnesses. I strongly recommend that you consult with an HR professional to ensure the necessary information is gathered should the unfortunate need for formal disciplinary action become necessary.
Set Clear Expectations and Foster Open Communication
Clearly communicate your expectations about their performance and behavior. Outline the specific processes and boundaries that must be followed. You can even explain the impact it’s having on the team. Most people are so focused on what they’re doing that they don’t see how their behaviors are affecting others. Encourage open dialogue with the employee. Listen to their perspective and concerns but remain firm on the expectations and necessary changes.
Provide Constructive Feedback
Address issues directly and promptly. Use specific examples and focus on the impact of their behavior on the team and organization. By addressing it quickly, it also decreases the likelihood of a heavier and more unpleasant conversation down the road. It’s also fair to the employee, as it gives them the opportunity to change their habits before it potentially has an impact on their reputation within the team.
Create an Improvement Plan
Should the behavior persist after a few fair prompt warnings, develop a performance improvement plan with measurable goals and a clear timeline. Ensure the employee understands the consequences of not meeting these goals, keeping focus on business goals and desired behaviors.
Monitor Progress
There is no point in going through the discomfort of having difficult conversations if you won’t follow up on the agreed-upon terms of engagement. Regularly review the employee’s progress against the improvement plan. Provide objective, ongoing feedback and support, acknowledging any positive changes. It’s incredibly important for team members to feel as though you have their backs throughout their learning.
Maintain Professionalism
Stay calm and professional, even in the face of emotional outbursts or retaliatory behavior. Your composure will reinforce your authority and set the tone for acceptable behavior. Take a few moments prior to the conversation if necessary to clear your mind and refocus your attention on the desired outcomes of this conversation.
Seek Support
Consult with HR or a senior mentor for advice and support for yourself throughout the process. They can provide guidance on handling difficult conversations and and bolster your confidence, knowing your actions in line with company policies and labor laws.
Reflect and Learn
After the situation is resolved, take time to reflect on what you've learned. So few people do this. Fortunately, having to deal with this type of employee will be a relatively rare circumstance, but will inevitably happen again. Take note because you are likely to forget how you went about it, along with what you wished you have done differently.
Managing difficult employees is a challenging but essential part of leadership. But acknowledging that this is also a skill that can be worked on, you can learn to handle all types of employees like a pro. Remember, every challenge is an opportunity to grow and develop your leadership skills.
Emergent Leaders Newsletter/048/ The Leader's Playbook for Dealing with Negative Team Members
Negativity in the workplace (or any team, for that matter) is like a virus. If left unchecked, it can spread rapidly and infect the morale and productivity of your entire team. But as a leader, is it really your job to manage toxic behavior and resulting conflicts? Regardless of your thoughts on this, the answer is “Yes”!
"In every organization we belong to, we're (also) a part of a culture. And either you are contributing to that culture, or you are allowing it to be what it is." - Dr. Michael Gervais, Workplace culture expert
In other words, if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. And if you consider yourself an effective and successful leader, you had better be part of the solution.
As you navigate your journey as a leader, this is unfortunately something you'll inevitably encounter because individuals with crappy attitudes are everywhere. So having a plan can at least open you up to being better prepared to have the conversation, rather than avoiding the issue all-together, at the detriment of the rest of the team.
How to address the negativity on your team
Below I offer you a simple step-by-step guide to help you address the negativity on your team. Should you have any questions regarding more specific “how to” for any of these steps, feel free to reach out. Your HR representative is also a great resource to help guide you through these situations.
Step 1: Recognizing Negative Attitudes
Negative attitudes come in various forms, from constant complaining, gossiping and cynicism to resistance to change and undermining team efforts. Identifying these behaviors early on is crucial, and as you get to know your team members, you’ll most likely be able to anticipate the source of the negativity. Look for patterns, such as consistent criticism without constructive solutions, reluctance to collaborate, or a general sense of dissatisfaction.
Step 2: Addressing Negativity Head-On
As a leader, it's essential to address negative attitudes promptly and directly. Ignoring the issue won't make it disappear; in fact, it may escalate and affect the overall team dynamic. Schedule a private conversation with the team member to discuss your observations and the impact their behavior may be having on the team.
Approach the conversation with empathy and curiosity rather than judgment. Seek to understand the root cause of their negativity – it could stem from personal issues, work-related frustrations, or misalignment with organizational values. They may simply not feel like they have the permission to “vent” to the boss rather than spread their venting to peers. It could also be that no one has ever called them on their behavior in the past and they simply don’t know how to manage their frustrations in more meaningful ways. Listen carefully and offer support where possible, whether through coaching, mentoring, or resources for personal development. Improving 2-way communication almost always resolves the issues.
Step 3: Setting Clear Expectations
During your conversation, clarify your expectations regarding behavior and attitude in the workplace. Emphasize the fact that a positive and collaborative environment is conducive to higher productivity and growth - 2 key factors in successful teams. Be specific about the behaviors you'd like to see change and provide examples to illustrate your point. Your feedback shouldn’t be personal, rather, it should be based on objective observations.
Step 4: Consequences of Inaction
Not addressing negative attitudes can be detrimental to your team and organization. While the negativity may not always be blatantly obvious, there are “side effects” of toxic behavior that will most likely be more noticeable.
Here are some key indicators that negativity may be poisoning team morale
Decreased productivity as negative attitudes can drain team energy and focus.
Increased turnover because a toxic work environment will eventually drive away top talent who look for a more positive and supportive workplace culture.
Poorer team dynamics as the negativity breeds conflict and erodes trust among team members.
The effects of one individual's negativity can spread throughout the team, infecting others and perpetuating a cycle of discontent. Like a bad apple, if not removed from the bunch, the whole lot will go bad.
Be the leader who actively creates a positive work environment
As a leader, it's your responsibility to foster a healthy and inclusive work environment where every team member feels valued and respected. Don't shy away from addressing negative attitudes – confront them head-on with empathy, clear communication, and a commitment to positive change.
Think of it this way: addressing negativity isn't just about mitigating individual behavior; it's about preserving the integrity and productivity of your entire team. By taking proactive steps to address negative attitudes, you'll not only support the growth and development of your team members, but you’ll also cultivate a workplace culture that benefits everyone.
Emergent Leaders Newsletter/029/5 Conversations New Leaders Dread (and How Seasoned Leaders Master Them)
Stepping into a leadership role is like embarking on a thrilling adventure, but even the most fearless leaders find themselves facing certain conversations that make their palms sweat and their hearts race. If you're a new leader, rest assured that you are not alone. Many emerging leaders share the same apprehensions when it comes to addressing their teams.
In this newsletter, we'll delve into the five most common types of conversations that new leaders I work with dread most and uncover the strategies more experienced leaders employ to thrive in these situations.
1) Delivering Constructive Feedback
New leaders often hesitate to provide constructive feedback, fearing they may demotivate or alienate team members. If the feedback is always presented from a place of “something needs fixing”, then yes – team members will learn to dread feedback.
Recognizing that feedback is a powerful tool for growth for ALL team members, experienced leaders frame critiques as opportunities for development. They focus on specific behaviors, provide actionable suggestions, and ensure a balance between positive and constructive feedback. And the more specific, the better. As a leader, one of your goals is to facilitate the growth of each of your employees. Do what’s best for your team and ensure feedback is equitable in its frequency among all team members.
2) Addressing Performance Issues
Confronting team members about performance issues can be uncomfortable for new leaders who worry about damaging relationships – this rings especially true if the leader was once a peer/co-worker. Unfortunately, there is no good possible outcome by avoiding performance-issue conversations. The rest of the team risks become resentful and disengaged, particularly if avoidance strategies become the go-to strategy of the leader. Habits such as delegating the work to reliable higher performers on the team, taking on the work themselves, or ignoring the issue all-together can seem like a good idea when in the trenches - though should be used sparingly. So how can new leaders hold accountability and performance conversations less “icky”?
Rather than framing it as a confrontation, seasoned leaders approach performance discussions as collaborative conversations. They actively listen, seek to understand underlying issues – what's getting in the way, and work together with the team members to create a plan to move forward. They also make regular check-ins a regular and frequent occurrence to ensure they catch delays in a relatively timely manner so that pivots are less drastic and frantic.
3) Managing Conflicts Within the Team
I often hear this: “I’m not paid enough for this s*&%”. And by “s*&%, my clients are referring to playing mediator between team members. Often times, HR is called it do just deal with it, but then next time a conflict arises, the leader is no better off than they were at the earlier conflict. Calling HR for minor issues is not only more time consuming, but it’s merely a band aid solution. While I totally understand that conflict can feel like a minefield for new leaders, avoiding it only allows issues to fester.
So how is a new leader supposed to handle minor conflicts within the team before they become bigger issues that actually do require HR intervention? First, accepting conflict as a difference of opinions can diffuse the tension. Experienced leaders view conflicts as natural in any team dynamic. They facilitate open communication, encourage different perspectives, and guide the team towards resolutions that strengthen relationships and improve collaboration – all while achieving a common goal. In essence, these conversations clear the air and create space for better problem solving and collaboration. With time and practice, team members will learn to hold these conversations proactively, before the potential for conflict arises. If the leader can’t model these types of collaborative conversations, how can they expect their team members to? It’s necessary for new leaders to practice this skill.
4) Conducting Difficult Conversations
Whether it's delivering bad news or addressing sensitive topics, new leaders often fear the discomfort associated with difficult conversations. The fear mostly comes from the leader trying to predict how the team member will feel once the news is delivered – and then ruminate over how they might react to the news that needs to be delivered, and then trying to predict their own reaction to the team member’s reaction. That’s a lot of inner turmoil to contend with, and the conversation hasn’t even taken place yet! No wonder they dread these conversations.
Let’s be honest though. No one on Earth enjoys delivering bad news. What effective leaders do differently, though, is recognize the importance of transparency and honesty. They prepare thoroughly, remain empathetic, and focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the discomfort. They do what they can to mentally prepare to maintain composure because they understand others can feed off their own energy. If the leader remains calm, the other party is more likely to do the same. And then identifying what each party needs from the other to move forward more effectively can shift the focus from blame and negative emotions to productive problem-solving.
5) Implementing Change
Introducing change can be met with resistance, and new leaders may fear pushback from their teams. When introducing a change that will impact the team, it’s all in the delivery. From the “why”, to the language and tone - it all matters, because team members rely on these queues to initially determine how to interpret the mesage.
Successful leaders are particularly adept at creating a compelling narrative around change. They communicate the "why" behind the change, involve the team in the process, and emphasize the positive outcomes – and encourage all team members to focus on how they stand to benefit from the change, fostering a sense of shared purpose. Effective leaders understand that part of their job is to keep everyone’s eye on the prize to maintain high levels of motivation despite the many changes that will occur through each project or initiative.
Every leader, no matter how seasoned, has faced these challenging conversations at some point in their journey. The key lies in understanding that these moments are not roadblocks but stepping stones to leadership mastery. By learning from the experiences of those who have navigated these conversations successfully, new leaders can embrace their role with confidence, turning challenges into opportunities for growth and fostering a thriving, resilient team.
If you are looking for a more customized leadership development experience, leadership coaching may be the better option to get you to your professional development goals faster. Book a complimentary “Discovery Call” to discuss your goals and see if working with a leadership coach might be the way to go.