As a leadership coach, I come across a LOT of high-potential and high-achieving professionals who, despite achieving the careers they think they want, are burning out and don't have the level of life satisfaction they thought they would have once they finally achieved role they wanted for so long.
And so, we notice a disengagement and a constant quest to achieve higher and higher ranks to try to fill that void. Why? I believe it is because most people – even the seemingly super successful ones, are stuck on autopilot. They are spending too much time doing things they think they should be doing, and not spending enough time doing things that fill their buckets and truly bring them joy.
With time, they begin to feel like shells of their earlier selves. They begin to feel detached – or at least, over time feel like they have less and less in common with their peers. They begin to live for the weekends and holidays. They find themselves getting sick more often – and having to take time off. They have no energy. They feel resentful of others. They also often begin to engage in habits that numb their discontent. Does this sound familiar?
The scary thing about this spiral into unfulfillment is that you don’t really notice it – I mean really pay attention to it, until you’ve hit or are near rock bottom. We are, by nature, very adaptable – while we think we are good at holding it together by engaging in some habits for short-term benefits, it eventually inevitably catches up to everyone who chooses to ignore the signs of discontent - or a “mid-life crisis”, if you will.
So, what are some of the ineffective coping habits that even highly educated, highly successful individuals engage in to escape the effects of career and life disengagement, and what habits should they be replacing them with to more effectively discover and work towards their life's purpose to feel the fulfillment we are longing for?
Ineffective Habit #1: Excessive Work Hours
Fact: Doing more of something that isn’t making you happy will not bring you closer to being happy or feeling engaged in your work.
What you could try instead: Set boundaries and take breaks to recharge. Make the most of your time off, not by doing more work at home, but by incorporating some activities that bring you joy. If you don’t know what brings you joy, try something new regularly. It’s up to YOU to discover what lights you up. And it won’t happen by sitting idle or wishing it to just appear.
Ineffective Habit #2: Perfectionism
I’d like to challenge your idea of perfection. Perfection is a myth. What might seem perfect to you might not be to someone else. If this is a struggle, I am certain that you are wasting HOURS every single week ruminating on trying to achieve your idea of perfection.
What you could try instead: Rather than hold yourself to the subjective standard of “perfect,” find out what needs to be done to achieve the utmost desired outcome. Focus on excellence rather than perfection. The difference between the 2 is accepting that it might not be flawless, but it will still be of outstanding quality. Be open to learning from your mistakes and celebrating your achievements.
Ineffective Habit #3: Ignoring Personal Well-being
Neglecting physical and mental health due to a busy schedule is a very short-sighted coping strategy. Without your health, nothing else will really matter.
What you could try instead: Begin by setting a few minutes aside every day to prioritize self-care activities, including regular exercise, sufficient sleep, and mindfulness practices. Healthy individuals are more resilient and better equipped to handle challenges.
Ineffective Habit #4: Lack of Delegation/Inability to say “no”
Refusing to delegate tasks can lead to overwhelming workloads – it's also a form of procrastination. Not only can this lead to burn out, but it will also stump your ability to grow professionally.
What you could try instead: Ask yourself: “If I say yes to doing this, then what will I have to say no to?” Is there something else I should be doing?” “What am I avoiding?” Are you finding that you get to the end of the day without feeling like you didn’t really move the needle much on things that mattered? Learn to delegate effectively (or say “no”) and focus on things that are of high priority to YOU.
Ineffective Habit #5: Over-Identification with Work
Tying self-worth solely to your professional achievements. Super common with high-achievers!
What you could do instead: Cultivate a well-rounded identity that includes personal interests, relationships, and hobbies. The fact is a holistic sense of self provides a buffer against burnout. But this can’t be achieved if you don’t have proper boundaries in check.
And last, but not least...
Ineffective Habit #6: Lack of Goal Alignment
Pursuing goals that are not personally meaningful to YOU.
What you could try instead: Align your career goals with your values. Spend your time on things that you believe in and enjoy talking about. By identifying with your purpose-driven goals, you will naturally begin to engage in activities that provide intrinsic motivation and fulfillment. The key is to take some time to develop that awareness in the first place, which will allow you to gain clarity of what truly matters.
By recognizing and replacing these ineffective coping habits over time, it is possible for leaders to feel a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose. This approach not only enhances individual well-being but also contributes to a healthier organizational culture.
If you are looking for a more customized leadership development experience, leadership coaching may be the better option to get you to your professional development goals faster. Book a complimentary “Discovery Call” to discuss your goals and see if working with a leadership coach might be the way to go.
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