Through my work, I often find aspiring leaders standing at a crossroads: gazing at the potential heights of success yet gripped by the fear of stumbling into failure. At one extreme, they ask “Am I really cut out for this leadership stuff?” while also wondering “What will my life look like if this works out?” This dichotomy, the fear of failure versus the fear of success, can be paralyzing for many, preventing them from even stepping into leadership roles they are destined for. This reluctance to take on leadership roles can make it difficult for organizations to fill leadership positions internally and can also severely affect an employee’s level of satisfaction.
Recognizing and understanding these fears is the first step towards breaking free from their constraints and realizing one's full leadership potential and setting them well on their way to the career paths they dreamt of.
Understanding The Difference Between Fear of Success and Fear of Failure
I recently had a client scoff at the suggestion that perhaps his hesitation for taking on a bigger leadership role was due to his fear of success. “Is that even a thing?” he asked. It sure is, and it’s quite a common hurdle faced by those aspiring to lead. This fear manifests in several ways, often disguised as self-doubt or imposter syndrome. The Healthline article “Explaining the fear of success” explains the difference between the two fears simply: “Fear of failure has to do with beating yourself up when you think you’ve bombed out. Fear of success is more about anticipating how other people will react to your triumph.”
For example, individuals grappling with a fear of success may have the following doubt patterns and worry about the following:
the weight of increased responsibility
the spotlight and attention that comes with success
the envy or isolation success can bring
if others will think they’re capable enough
if they’ll “fit in” within leadership/social circles.
they may have visions of success yet might find themselves questioning whether they truly deserve it
On the flip side, the fear of failure can be equally daunting. Those grappling with fear of failure may find themselves in the following habits and thought patterns:
stuck in a cycle of perfectionism
afraid to make a costly mistake
unable to take risks or step outside their comfort zones for fear of falling short/unable to perform at an even higher level
exposing their professional inadequacies
afraid to fail and disappoint those who helped them get the role
Strategies to effectively Help You Work Through Your Fears
Regardless of the fear, there are several things that can be done to minimize them to a point where they no longer feel insurmountable. Below are 5 effective strategies to help shift how you approach your fears:
1. Self Awareness and Reflection
Take time to reflect on your fears and their underlying causes. Most of the time, individuals make false assumptions about what a leadership role is or is not. When we don’t know, we tend to fill in the blanks with the worst-case scenario. By naming specific concerns, aspiring leaders can then research facts by having conversations with folks who may hold similar roles within the organization or even in other organizations within the same industry. The idea here is to get to a point where a rational decision can be made based on facts rather than fear.
2. Challenge Limiting Beliefs
Think about your thinking! Having an awareness around your self-talk or that little voice in your head, can help. What is it saying? Is it factual or is there a possibility that it could be talking you out of stepping out of your comfort zone? Replace self-limiting beliefs with affirmations of competence and resilience. Focus on past successes and lessons learned from setbacks. Repeat, repeat and repeat!
3. Gradual Exposure to Risks
Start small by taking calculated risks in low-stakes situations. Inform yourself on the types of tasks the leadership role would entail, do some research. Knowledge is power. Each success builds confidence and reduces fear of failure. Embrace failures as learning experiences rather than reflections of worth.
4. Seek Support and Mentorship
Surround yourself with a supportive network of peers and mentors. Talk to them about your fears and aspirations. I guarantee you, the very people you look up to once stood in your shoes with the same concerns you are faced with and can offer guidance on not only the work itself, but on how they handled the mental aspect of shifting into leadership roles and support you along the way. A leadership coach can also help you work through challenges as they arise.
5. Visualize Success AND Failure
Imagine yourself succeeding in vivid detail, embracing the rewards and challenges. How do you, your career and your family stand to benefit if you were extraordinarily successful in a leadership role?
Similarly, visualize scenarios where things don't go as planned. What would be, in your opinion, the worst-case scenario? Visualize the likelihood of it happening - and then your resilience. Would you actually crumble? It’s doubtful. What resources would you have to have in place to minimize this impact, both at work and at home?
All of these strategies take some time to make an impact. I highly recommend them to anyone who might one day aspire to lead – even if it is months or years down the road. The better prepared and more informed, the better anyone will feel about their decision to take on (or not) a leadership role.
I also think it’s important to put into perspective that leadership is like any other aspect in life. It is fraught with challenges, and fear, whether of success or failure, but these factors are a natural part of life. Whether it be leadership or anything else: letting these fears dictate our choices can hinder growth and limit potential. By understanding the nuances of fear, challenging limiting beliefs, and taking deliberate steps to confront fears, aspiring leaders can step boldly into the next phase of their careers, whatever that may look like.