Helping new and emergent leaders understand the difference between cultivating authentic relationships and being perceived as a brown-noser involves focusing on building genuine connections, mutual benefit, and integrity. Yet, some new and aspiring leaders are so concerned by what others might think, fear prevents them from acting and building the relationships that could help further propel them into leadership positions they aspire to have.
If this resonates with you, read the strategies below. Perhaps one of them will help reframe your mindset around networking in a way that feels more aligned with who you are.
Here are some networking strategies to explore:
Emphasize Authenticity
Approach relationships with sincerity. What do I mean by this? Authenticity involves being genuinely interested in the other person's perspectives, needs and goals. As an aspiring leader (or anyone for that matter), you should aim to build relationships based on mutual respect and understanding, rather than approaching them from a perspective of “What can they do for me?”
Value Exchange
Highlight the importance of reciprocity in professional relationships. Individuals should consider what value they can offer to their stakeholders, sponsors, and mentors. This could be in the form of insights, support, or collaboration, showing that the relationship is not one-sided.
On a recent Diary of a CEO Podcast episode, Marc Randolph, Co-founder of Netflix, talked about how a stranger who did a cold outreach caught his attention. This individual had done his research and found out that Marc had been learning how to play the guitar. In exchange for a conversation, he offered to show him a few tricks to help him hone his newly acquired musical skills. While not everyone will accept your offers, all it takes is one person to say “yes”. What do you have to offer?
Integrity and Transparency
Always act with integrity and be transparent about your intentions. You should communicate openly about your goals and aspirations, while also making space to show a willingness to support the goals of others. If you don’t just come out and state your intentions, others will be leery from the start, which means defense walls will go up faster than you can blink. Simply state what you’re hoping to walk away from the conversation with – both for yourself AND what you hope to offer the other party.
Long-Term Perspective
View professional relationships as long-term investments rather than short-term gains. Genuine relationships take time to build and should not be approached with the mindset of immediate rewards. This will help reduce potential frustration when others don’t come through on your desired timeline.
Personal Connection
Find common ground and shared interests with existing stakeholders, sponsors, and mentors. Building deeper personal connections can help establish a stronger foundation for professional relationships and feel less awkward should you eventually need to ask for a favor. Understand that the same applies to the other party as well. Be prepared to be in service of others as you would want them to be in service of your work.
Feedback and Reflection
Professional relationship-building is a skill – and can be honed. By asking folks you know well what they feel you can improve on when it comes to your interactions or networking skills, you will know exactly what to focus on. Don’t assume you know. To improve the likelihood of receiving good quality feedback, ask questions like “What would you like to see more or less of when it comes to my listening skills?” or “What would you like to see more or less of when it comes to my communication skills?” Open-ended questions are questions that can’t simply be answered with a single word. Then thank them for their valuable input, reflect and act on this feedback.
Mentorship and Sponsorship
Mentors provide guidance and advice, while sponsors actively advocate for a leader's career advancement. Understanding these roles can help you approach these the right individuals to help you further build relationships with the right mindset and intentions. I would also encourage you to look outside of your industry for inspiring individuals to bring a fresh perspective to your thinking.
Professional Boundaries
Lastly, maintain professional boundaries while building relationships. Respecting these boundaries ensures that interactions remain professional and do not cross into inappropriate territory. Some examples of inappropriate behaviors would include excessive personal sharing, communicating outside of work hours or work events, casual or inappropriate language, information mining, gift giving. This list is far from exhaustive, but you get my drift.
By framing relationship-building as a skill, process of mutual support and genuine connection, you can accelerate your growth as a leader AND your career prospects, while still remaining completely professional.